ROTFLMWWJD/Halo 2
July 14, 2007 at 1:01 am | In Art, Classical Art, Death, Delaware, Elderly, Halo, Halo 2, Humor, Life, Living, Microwaves, My Life, Newark, Sadness, Sales, Statues, Women, Work | 2 Comments
An old woman stopped me on my way to my desk this morning, before I could get myself really “ready” to talk with my first potential customer of the day, and told me that she needed me to help her select a “good and cheap” microwave. I walked along with her to the microwaves.
And then, the second sentence out of her mouth was, “I don’t need it to do a lot ’cause I’ll be dead in five years.”
As long as it doesn’t hurt ME……
July 3, 2007 at 7:27 am | In Beauty, Blogging, Catholicism, Culture, Delaware, Demi Moore, Erotica, Fairness, Feminism, Gardening, Humor, Ireland, Lap Dance, Sex, Sexy, Stripping, Women, World Hunger | 4 Comments
Poetry today I am practicing my poetry so I have to wear rubber gloves and not latex ones because….
July 1, 2007 at 7:26 pm | In Announcements, Blogging, Delaware, Funny, Haiku, Humor, Newark, Delaware, Poems, Poetry, Rubber, Sexy, Spoken Word, Tom Green, Wilmington, Delaware, YouTube | Leave a Comment
I want to be an important part of the machinery of this Team. We’re practicing today. And I don’t want to get my fingers caught.
We’re also going to be taken some group photos today. This should be fun.
Poetry: Tonight at the Crimson Moon!
June 20, 2007 at 9:15 pm | In Announcements, Blogging, Culture, Delaware, Humor, Life, Life in General, Literature, Living, My Life, Newark, Delaware, Poems, Poetry, Reading, Spoken Word, Texas | 2 Comments
Well…..it’s hard for me to get my head around the fact that not only am I on a poetry slam team again but that we’re really going to Texas in August and that I’m into all this again. My whole poetry life has ramped up once again and I’m finding myself inspired once more to listen to my muse and create….
This team, the 2K7 Delawhere? Open Mic and Slam Team, is fantastic. I’m very proud to be sharing this honor with Matt and Hannah and Nigel and Sherod. What a crew! Hard to describe this bunch – but that’s probably the best, right? Variety is the spice of life.
If you are in Delaware tonight, particularly in the Wilmington area, you really should stop on over to the Crimson Moon for tonight’s open mic poetry reading: we need you! Come and listen to crazy poets blither away in the comfortable, air-conditioned hip surroundings with a cold one in your hand! All the cool kids are doing it!
click here for insanity….
June 11, 2007 at 6:14 am | In Bizarre, Blogging, Culture, Humor, Religion, lol, sacreligious | 2 CommentsNo One Can Resist The Golden Lasso
May 23, 2007 at 8:08 pm | In Blogging, Culture, Feminism, Humor | 2 CommentsI’m a total feminist, but only 88% feminist? What kind of math is this? Bueller?
You Are 88% Feminist |
 You are a total feminist. This doesn’t mean you’re a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It’s a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action. |
I Will Tell You What’s Really Bad.
May 18, 2007 at 8:02 am | In Bad Music, Cliche-Ridden Top 40 Crap, Culture, Delaware, Humor, Life in General, Miscellaneous, Music, Pop Culture, Random | 4 CommentsIt’s having a horrible, horrible song stuck in your head. Not because you put it in there on purpose (as in, choosing to listen to the song), but because it happened to be blaring out of the windows of a passing car.
You give love a bad name, indeed.
Wish You Could Have Been There
April 25, 2007 at 1:26 am | In Art, Baltimore, Delaware, Haiku, Humor, Life, Life in General, Literature, My Life, Poems, Poetry, Reading, Slam Poetry, Spoken Word, Writing | 3 CommentsThe show last night in Baltimore went great. I was very grateful that Matt, Hannah and Nigel were up for the trip down for the show. It had been quite a while since I’ve done any sort of feature spot, and it felt good to have a little spotlight on my live poetry again. I was actually feeling nervous, because of the high-profile nature of the event, and because I was a little rusty at doing a feature. Turns out I needn’t have been nervous at all. It was great fun. I forgot how good it feels to get a good bit of “momentum” going in a live performance. The crowd (about maybe 30 or 40 people crammed into a smallish-mediumish basement level cafe) was very into it, laughing at all the right humorous bits of the poems that had humorous bits in them. They were with me even when I tried a new one, a poem which I expect I might just put up on here sometime called “These Are My Underpants”. What do you think, Heather? Should I post it?
Here are the poems I read, in the order I performed them:
bling bling
Maiden Forms
Rocket Scientist
These Are My Underpants*
Haiku For Overhearing The Neighbors’ Loud Sex at an Early Age
Mercury’s Children
* This one, “These Are My Underpants”, is one I’m really pleased with, as far as how it turned out. Sometimes I think my own comedic instincts in a given poem are way off, and I found out in a live setting how off my instincts are – last night things went the other way and I was right on and the place was howling. That’s such a good feeling. I didn’t have any “product” (a slam poet’s colloquialism for chapbooks or cd’s) to sell, so, I really was just thrilled to perform my guts out for the place.
The kind of performing where they’re still applauding well after you’ve taken your bow and sat down, your back covered in sweat. Yeah.
Wish you could have been there.
Five IMPORTANT Things About Me…In Haiku
April 18, 2007 at 1:12 am | In Blogging, Culture, Delaware, Friends, Haiku, Humor, Poetry | 3 CommentsOkay, here goes nothing – I got tagged by my lovely friend Heather to do this, so, check it:
FIVE IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT ME….IN HAIKU
I
When I was a boy
our neighbors had noisy sex
I listened closely
II
If you say the words
“recovering catholic”
I’ll raise my hand, yes
III
Sometimes I notice
that the voice in my head
doesn’t sound like me
IV
I walk on the street
every day waiting for the
nuclear horror
V
One day I will die
sorry that i never learned
how to waterski
Video: “…The Angel That I Used To Be…”
April 7, 2007 at 6:37 pm | In Art, Bizarre, Culture, Delaware, Feminism, Humor, Movies, Music, Pop Culture, Video, Videos, War, YouTube | Leave a Comment
Here’s a new video for you. I hope you like it. I’ve been working on it for some time now. Can you dig it? Is it can we has Swedish girl-pop Chinese misdiplomacy tiem nao?*
*That last sentence composed in cat macro english, a new fascination of mine.
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