How I miss you so, and how I will always love you

January 31, 2007 at 6:26 pm | Posted in Animals, Death, Family, Love, Pets, Relationships, Sadness, Thoughts | 6 Comments

Yesterday, January 30th, after several months of living nobly and dignifiedly with a cancerous, inoperable tumor in her jaw, my beloved cat, Smudge, died peacefully at the veterinary hospital. She was nearly 16. She was my darling and my sweetheart. She loved me for 10 years, unconditionally and without reserve.

Smudge, I will never, ever forget the love you gave to me. All the little nose kisses, the nights you sat on my lap while I read, and petted you. The nights while I slept and you cuddled in the crook of my arm and napped a little with me. The days that we played and you chased the little toys that I made. Both the admiration and adoration my friends all had for you. I will never forget your greeting me in the morning with cheerful meows when you herded me towards your food dish to get you breakfast. The happy, loud sound of your purr. And you coming to get morning pets in bed from your mama and Daddy. You were such a good girl, Smudge. My heart is broken that you’re gone. A part of me knows that yesterday was the end of your suffering and that you are much happier where you are now, but I just need you to know that your daddy will always have a room in his heart full of love for you and the memories that he has of you. I cry because I love you so much and miss you.

I know that the love that a pet can give is a privilege, and not a right any human can claim. I know how very fortunate I am to have given the chance to know, care for and so deeply love you all these years. But it still doesn’t take away this awful hurt in my heart that I feel. I miss you so much. And if one day after this life, I am somehow blesed to see your face again, my heart will be full.

Daddy loves you, Smudge, and he always will.

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